I'm Starting a Masters Degree program in 3 weeks! (and How I'm Handling This Insane Workload)

I feel nervous. And not the kind of nervous that has a tinge of excitement, but the kind that is pushing at my seams, daring me to be overwhelmed.

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I am about to start a masters degree program in 3 weeks.

According to the program’s website, I should expect to do 15-20 hours of work outside of class. This feels absurd to me that I almost want to laugh. Not because it’s a lot of work but because I have no idea where that 15-20 hours is going to come from without me going into total mental exhaustion.

I became meticulous with my calendar this year, as I figured out how to create content for AWL channels while also working in two jobs. Apparently I’m going to be taking it all up a notch.

How am I going to frame this experience?

Why am I doing this master’s program anyway?

I’ve asked myself this countless time since I applied in the winter.

Am I just doing this because “God is telling me to”? That would make me something like a slave - following orders because of some God-master. There is no love, no kindness in that.

No. God has been impressing on my heart: I have riches and gold and gems and beautiful wonders to reveal to you from inside this program.

It feels like I’m entering this energetic spiritual space and I have no idea what’s in store for me, though I am positive it’ll be good for me. From the outside, I can only see a mountain of writing, reading and papers — and a whole lot that I’ll need to spiritually process. This endeavour will up mind-space that, right now, I would much rather pour into AWL content.

Even though there is a part of me that resists doing this program, I can feel that it is the right thing to do. There is more growth for me, by going through this program than if I were to avoid it altogether. For one thing, it will keep me grounded in Toronto for the better part of the next 4 years. I’ll have summers off and reading weeks every seasons, but it means I’m not devising any fantastical plans to move away. At least not yet. Maturity, steadiness and substance will become a part of me as I stay in one place.

So I am embracing this master’s program. I’m looking at my calendar with fresh eyes and giving the program the space it needs to work on me, not just squeeze out papers in between my other life goals. I choose to be excited for the expansion and healing it is sure to bring me.

The decision has been made. I’m doing this masters program.

I’m also keeping my two jobs that I will work Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. I’m going to keep making content for AWL channels. I most definitely will be taking pristine care of myself.

They program is forcing me to learn structural life skills that I know will benefit me in the future.

This is my path forward starting in autumn, into 2019/2020 season. I am consciously choosing what I put on my plate, and if something doesn’t it my priorities, I will either say no or give the opportunity to someone else.

I still have to sit down and make a more concrete game plan for myself (aka. hashing out my calendar blocks), but I can see the direction I’m moving in. I am confident that, with God on my side, I’m going to navigate these unchartered waters as I always do: with a heart full of wonder, adventure and tenacity.

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