The Challenge Of Life In The City

CAUTION before proceeding: Heart talk. 

There are days, while I’m living here in the city, that I really can’t stand it. The way we walk past humans on the sidewalk and pretend like we can’t see each other. The way everyone says, “How are you?” “Good. How are you?” As if we are robots programmed for a positive customer experience 24/7. The way they spam us with ridiculous amounts of grocery store flyers every week.  The way the roads clog up from 4:30pm and it feels like everyone is desperate to leave. 

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I’ve written up pieces like this before but never posted them because they could seem whiney. They’re raw and honest, for sure. Shouldn’t I be grateful that I get to live this posh first-world existence? Complete with air conditioned homes, trendy outfits and income levels that most of humanity will never come close to seeing? Yet there is a sorrow to the luxury lifestyle. We are empty and we try to fill ourselves up with things that will never satisfy. (Yes, I do it too.  With creative acts, big dreams, goals, food, travel, and God.)

They say that it’s best to “fill yourself up with God, because nothing else will satisfy,” but I have days where I demand of God: HOW am I supposed to stay here with this infinite gaping void in my soul?! Why are we made with this emptiness?! 

Today is one of those days. 

Today I publish because I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way.  I don’t know how people manage living in these cities, but I am learning.  I am here and I know I’m meant to be here. So I challenge myself (again and again) to see these cities the way God sees them: God knows the struggles, pains, joys and passions of EVERY SINGLE person in the city. God loves the cities. God loves the city just as much as the untouched forests, the open vistas, the grand peaks. 

Day by day, I drop my defences. (There ARE days I’m convinced I’m thriving here!) I do my best to lay down the injustices. I pick up by tools, and I get to work to make something beautiful. 

Here is teeming with life and opportunity and possibility.